Scrunchy Situations

As most of my friends know, I am about 98% sure I do not want children. It's not that i don't like kids, I love them, I just like to give them back to their parents when I am done playing with them. If there was a way to skip over parenting and jump straight to grand parenting, I think that would be ideal for me. Since I'm pretty sure that isn't possible, and there aren't any 25 year olds I know of up for adoption, I think I will just stick to being an aunt. Many people have tried to talk me out of this decision and sell me on the joys of parenting, but I truly believe it's not for everyone, and the child is the one who suffers if the parents aren't 150% committed to being the absolute best they can be. So, I married a slightly older man who is indifferent about having kids, and all is right in the world.

On our flight to Tampa over New Year's, Steve and I sat behind a family. Directly in front of us was dad and his 2 young sons (probably 2 and 4), and across the aisle from them was mom and their youngest who was probably 6-8 months old. The kids were cute; the 4 year old kept telling his grandparents (I guess they were on the plane too) that he could see their bags and not to worry because they made it on the plane. I wish I could say the same for the parents...

Dad was a real piece of work. He gave the kids a play-by-play the ENTIRE flight. I thought, "What a good dad. He's making sure his kids are comfortable" for the first 10 minutes, and then I started to wonder if he was really trying to make himself more comfortable. The dialogue consisted of obvious dribble along the lines of, "Oh, we're backing up. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! OK, we stopped, I bet we will go forward now. Here we go.  Whee!!" I'm pretty sure I heard the 2 year old trying to say, "Dad, would you please shut it? You are embarrassing us!" Too bad he wasn't an advanced talker.

Right as we were allowed to turn on our electronic devices, the baby started to cry...and did not stop until we landed. It wasn't a screechy scream like some kids have had on some of my previous flights, so it was pretty easy to tune out. At one point though, the flight attendant come over and tried to calm the baby down by walking around with him. Guess she wasn't as successful at tuning out the crying.

When the plane landed, (don't worry, in case I wasn't paying attention, super-dad notified the 10 rows around him with his detailed observations) and everyone was waiting to get off the plane, I got a better look at mom, and that's when i saw it.....the scrunchy.

Now don't get me wrong, I LOVED a good scrunchy...back in 1994. Especially when it was matched perfectly with my newest 5-7-9 outfit. My friends and I wore our scrunchies on our wrists more as an accessory than as a tool to tie our hair back. This scrunchy however, was definitely not supposed to be a fashion statement. This poor mom looked as though she had been to war just before boarding the plane and definitely had no time to shower.

I texted a friend who is also on the fence about this whole kid thing, and asked if this is what happens when you have kids. You become captain obvious and forget to wash your hair???? I mean geez, the way these 2 are selling parenthood, where do I sign up?

Maybe its the southern girl in me who was raised being told that you don't leave the house unless you are ready to been seen, or the years in college where I shared a Publix with frat row and so you would to dress up to go grocery shopping, or the fact that I have a lot of gorgeous friends who have children and would never travel like this. Whatever it was, I wanted to tell captain obvious to think about helping his wife with the kids in the morning so she has time to bathe herself and find a suitable and current hair tie.

I soon realized that my breath would have been wasted, when he took the two kids by the hand and practically sprinted off the plane leaving mom to juggle the baby, 3 bags, and her scrunchy.