Maybe I just need to stay out of stores...

For my birthday, my dear, sweet, generous and thoughtful mom sent me a big box of maternity clothes knowing that the thought of going maternity shopping made me want to cry and yet I couldn't fit into anything I currently had in my wardrobe.  She did an amazing job too.  My mom is normally nervous about buying me clothes because I tend to not like much of what she picked, but in this case, I liked almost everything.  When I tried everything on however, several things needed to be exchanged for larger sizes.  I DO appreciate my mom thinking I am still a small though. 

Since we already had errands to run today: breakfast, Babies R Us (we went to a different and smaller store today and were the only shoppers in there.  It was organized, clean and the people were helpful....I will never go to the other location again!), church (only it was POURING and for fear of melting, Steve said we could just pray today and be grateful for all God has given us and stay out of the rain....sissy),  and the mall to look for my birthday present (yep, that's right...my birthday was last Tuesday and we are just now looking for which item he will have to order...might get that gift before my next birthday...maybe), I decided to take the clothes that needed to be exchanged and we could swing through Macy's.

Here is how that went:

We found a few of the items in the right sizes and then found some other items to take the place of the ones we couldn't find.  Then we went to the register.  I told the lady (we'll call her Flo) that I needed to exchange this group of items for the other group.  I even had the receipt.  Flo then asked me if I had the Macy's card it was purchased with.  I told her no, that my mom in Ohio had purchased them as a gift.

Flo then proceeded to tell me that she could return the items on to my mom's card and then I would have to pay for the new items.  Whhhaaaattttt?  Walk me through this again Flo.  You mean to tell me that I can not exchange a gift even with the receipt.  Flo said no, that I would need the Macy's card.  I explained once again that the card is in Ohio and that these items were a gift and I just wanted to exchange the stuff.  Apparently this transaction was WAY too much for Flo to comprehend because she thought I wanted to return items to my mom's card and then use my mom's card to buy new items.  She kept pointing to the receipt with her obnoxiously bright orange fake fingernails as though that was going to help us understand. 

After going through the logistics several times, my hormones kicked in and I started to get loud...real loud (I love that I can blame bad behavior on "pregnancy hormones").  Steve was trying to calmly explain this transaction one more time while I am standing behind him yelling, "SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT ANYONE WHO RECEIVES A GIFT PURCHASED BY A MACY'S CARD IS S.O.L. IF THEY DON'T LIKE WHAT WAS GIVEN TO THEM OR IT DOESN'T FIT???????  WHEN YOU GIVE A GIFT, IF THE RECIPIENT DOESN'T LIKE IT, YOU DON'T GET THE MONEY BACK!" 

A very kind woman who was shopping nearby and heard my rage and came over to offer some help.  She told Flo that she should issue me a store gift card if they wouldn't give me cash back and then I could purchase the new items with that money.  Now Flo's head was about to explode due to her lack of understanding and I wondered how Flo got herself this job at Macy's in the first place. 

Then the threats came out, "I'M GOING TO CALL MY MOM RIGHT NOW AND TELL HER TO THROW AWAY HER DAMN MACY'S CARD BECAUSE YOU GUYS SUCK!"  Not my finest moment. 

Finally Flo picked up the phone and called for backup.  She let us know the manager was on the way.  Steve was still trying to explain this to Flo while I was now pacing in the aisle saying, "STEVE THIS IS OBVIOUSLY TOO COMPLEX OF A TRANSACTION FOR HER TO UNDERSTAND, ALTHOUGH I'M SURE 1000 EXCHANGES ARE DONE A DAY, LET'S JUST WAIT FOR THE MANAGER WHO MIGHT POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO FACILITATE THIS SIMPLE REQUEST!" 

About that time another employee, who was probably wishing she could disappear to avoid my wrath, walked by and Flo asked her for advice (We will call her My Angel of Mercy...Angel for short).  Angel told Flo that all she had to do was return the items, scan the new items and issue a gift card if there is a remaining balance.  At this, Flo walked into the fitting room behind her and didn't come out again until we were walking off.  Good Flo!  Go hide and think about what you've done!

The manager showed up as Angel was completing our transaction and asked what was going on.  We explained it to her and she had this look of, "Why am I here for this remedial task?"  I then suggested that Flo go through a training course on returns/exchanges/gift cards/common sense, to which the manager agreed. 

Flo, this is going to be a very long life for you if this is how things continue to go. 

Oh, and PS...It's not Halloween yet.  Lose the BRIGHT orange fingernails.