Friday, November 14, 2014

Chugga, Chugga, Shut the Hell Up!

I need to know who I should contact to file a formal complaint. Lately, the trains that run about a mile from our house have decided it is necessary to blow their whistles as loud and as much as possible beginning at 2am and continuing until close to 5am.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!

For the life of me, I can't figure out why this is necessary. Here are some of my top theories:

1. There is a nightly parade from 2-5 each night, and they have to clear the tracks.

2. The Caribou scenario from Polar Express is taking place.

3. The conductor is having trouble in his marriage and needs some attention.

4. The people who work the night shift have requested a wake-up call.

5. Obama has made an executive order demanding this practice.

6. They hate me.

I bought a sound machine for Davis' room because the first night he woke up 2 or 3 times. Guess how happy that made me. Mama needs her sleep!

So, if you know someone with the railroad commission, please forward me their contact information so I can draft a strongly worded letter. The long and short of the letter will be, "Shut the F#$k up! If someone or something is dumb enough to be on train tracks at 2am and can't see you coming, they deserve what they get. We can call it natural selection!"   

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