Thursday, July 28, 2011

I'm sorry ma'am, I didnt mean to vomit on you.

I promise this will be my last baby post for a little bit, but I have to get this off my chest.

Whoever said pregnancy is beautiful was probably.....well.....a man or something.

Although I'm not hovering over my toilet unable to keep any food down all day, I am experiencing such an array of side effects that I am already praying for February.  "Dear God, please make tomorrow miraculously be February.  Please."  And, I'm not even really showing yet, so imagine how much fun I am going to have with swollen feet, super sore back, unable to breathe, and something kicking me in the organs from the inside. 
For the last month or so, I have had zero energy.  I am used to being tired since I suffer from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as I wrote about here, but this enters a whole new stratosphere of tiredness.  How do women do this when they already have a kid?????  My mom confessed that she once locked my brothers in their room and fell asleep on one of their beds while they played around and on top of her so she could sleep.  Sounds peaceful.

I have either no appetite or cannot stop eating...never know what kind of day it will be.  Most days, I feel so nauseous that I don't want to eat but force myself in hopes it will settle my stomach.  Rather than being nauseous and throwing up, like a normal person, I just walk around gagging all day.  I wish I could actually get sick because I think it would make me feel better...but I just can't.  It is awful and I can only imagine what strangers think of me as I walk around gagging.  The gagging is caused by several things:

smells - I have the nose of a highly trained bloodhound now.  I thought about getting a part time job at the airport as a drug sniffer, but there are a lot of stinky people out there and I don't want to smell them.  ANY smell will make me gag.  Steve's soap in the morning is one of the worst followed by just about any food smells.  My Chanel perfume also makes me gag, but my Burberry doesn't.  Maybe the baby is British...

sinus drainage - Yep, you read that right.  Fun fact, when you are pregnant, your sinuses begin draining ALL DAY and you can't take any allergy medicine because it might harm the baby.  You know how when you are sick you experience that gross feeling of something running down the back of your throat?  Well, I feel that all day and it makes me gag at least 35 times a day.

North-Easterly winds - Or any direction of wind really.  Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason behind the gagging, it just happens.  So pretty.

I am also afraid I may be becoming a lizard or alligator.  You always hear about the "Pregnancy Glow" women experience because their skin becomes a little more oily.  Well, me being who I am, am instead experiencing the most dry skin I have ever had.  It feels like I got really sunburned and am peeling.  Look at my leg from this morning:

I can't make it through the night without having to get up to use the bathroom.  I'm afraid this is only going to get worse too.  This wouldn't be so bad if I could go back to sleep after going potty, but instead I am up for at least an hour afterwards.  (See the paragraph on tiredness.)

Those are really the only side effects I feel are appropriate to share on this forum, but trust me, there are other less-attractive symptoms.

I'm going to sleep and plan to wake up in February. 


  1. Oh the joys of being pregnant! Not to make it worse, but I don't think I slept through the night for at least a year. After 9 months of getting up at least once to use the bathroom, you bring home a newborn who isn't quite sure when they're supposed to sleep. :-)

  2. So how are your bowels? HAHA!!

  3. I was going to spare you, but since you asked.....SLOW! It's miserable.