Sunday, August 7, 2011

Sir, is there supposed to be rodent feces in my soup?

Steve and I watch a lot of Kitchen Impossible and Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares and it is amazing/frightening what goes on in some of these restaurants.  I am terrified that one of these days we will be watching and a restaurant I have eaten at will be featured.  9.9 times out of 10 there are some commonalities between these failing restaurants.

1.  The owners are lazy, cheap, clueless, egomaniacs.  90% of them have no idea how to cook and none of them know how to run a business.  Let's not even get me started on how they manage people either.  FYI, you run a restaurant, you don't cure cancer for a living....let's bring it down just a peg.   

2.  Part of their laziness spills into the filth of their kitchens.  My stomach turns when they show most of these kitchens that have never been cleaned.  I worked in a restaurant for 4 years and know how the kitchen can get messy throughout service, but what exactly is your excuse for not cleaning at the end of the night????

3.  They use cheap/frozen/canned ingredients.  How can you call yourself a chef when all you do is open a can and heat up the contents?  I am far from a chef, but I do more cooking than a lot of these "restaurant chefs" do. 

4.  The menu is wayyyy too big.  Unless you are at Cheesecake Factory, most big menus are overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.  Why not master a few things?  It will also cut down on prep time and ingredients costs. 

5.  The food doesn't taste good.  See numbers 3 and 4.

6.  The decor is outdated and/or dark and gloomy.  Hey guys, it's 2011, let's liven things up.  Yes, the 80's and 90's were great, but we've moved should you.

So, if you own a restaurant, just watch a few episodes of either of these shows, be very honest with yourself and see if you are doing the same.  If so, change immediately! 

I'm glad this blog isn't too big time...yet... though, because these shows are great entertainment and I don't want them to quit filming new ones. 

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