Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Buddies in Mexico

As I mentioned yesterday, one of my absolutely favorite people, and possibly my true soul mate (sorry Steve), invited me on her trip to Mexico with her company.

Not being one to turn down anything free, especially a trip, I said yes without hesitation and then got to work finding someone to watch my child who I had just agreed to abandon.

Jill (who shall henceforth be referred to as Buddy), informed me that my flight itinerary took me from Houston to Atlanta, and then to Mexico.  This was confusing since Houston is probably the closest major airport to Cancun, but whatevs...I would get to meet up with my Buddy.

After greeting each other in our usual manner, which could come straight from a movie (picture running toward each other, dropping our belongings, a huge embrace which leads to me picking her up and spinning around while spectators look on in confusion), we checked that our flight was on time and then hightailed it to the closest bar.  2 extremely strong (thank you nice lady) vodka sodas and a plate of french fries later, we boarded the plane and were off. 

We had another vodka soda on the plane (I may have had 2 because the flight attendant bought me a second one...thank you kind sir), went through customs, bought ourselves each a beer for the road and headed toward Riviera Maya.  Upon check-in, we were greeted by the kindest lady with a silver tray holding lovely glasses of champagne...don't mind if we do! 

If any of you can do math, you can summate, that by this time, we were substantially intoxicated.  Not letting that stop us, we quickly changed into our bathing suits and made a beeline to the pool to meet up with the rest of the group.  Being the kind and welcoming people that they are, I don't think we had made it all the way into the pool before we were greeted with shots of tequila.

This type of behavior continued until the group slowly dissipated, it was dark, and Buddy and I were the only ones left in the pool.  After forcing one of the bartenders from the swim-up bar to walk us back because I didn't trust we could find it ourselves, I told Buddy I could pull it together and make it to the welcome dinner (Ohhhh... that's why everyone left the pool), but was informed that neither of us were in a state to be interacting with others.

Making ourselves comfortable in our home for the next 3 nights, we ordered room service, went for a vigorous swing on the porch, and woke up at 6am, me still in my bathing suit.  Shocked that we were up so early, I informed Buddy that must be what happens when you go to sleep at 8pm. 

Making the most of this extremely long day we now had ahead of us, we went for a walk on the beach to sweat out any remaining booze, visited the breakfast buffet, and were, shockingly, the first people at the pool.  Slowly but surely, everyone else joined us and we all proceeded to burn ourselves to a crisp. 

I wanted to treat Buddy to some sort of an excursion, and we decided on parasailing.  What I expected to be a nice, relaxing event, turned out to be anything but.  First, we were loaded up onto a jet ski as waves were crashing into us and turning the jet ski into a deadly weapon that could have taken us out at any moment.  Once on, we clung to the driver, a very nice man who is a very hard worker and could have used a nice shower to wash off the day (I was trying to think of a nice way to say he smelled and felt like a month old wet dishrag), as he drove us for what felt like 2 hours across the bay which was so choppy we were suspended in mid-air on a regular basis.  Arriving at the boat, and feeling adequately sea sick, there was a couple being harnessed in and we were informed that we would ride in the boat for the 20 minutes they were up in the air and then it would be our turn.  Once we were in the air, both of us were so sick we spent half of the 20 minute ride trying to determine the best way to throw up without hitting the other person.  We suffered from vertigo for 3 days after this fun little trip. 

The rest of the trip was pretty tame, on our parts.  We have a tendency of blowing our load on the very first night and then feeling its effects for the rest of the trip.  We ate from buffets more than is advised by the FDA, drank a good amount, continued to bake ourselves in the sun, and watched as others performed their drunken escapades in front of the group rather than doing them in the privacy of their own room as we chose to do.  I thank them for that.  Each and every one of them. 

These are the only pictures we took on the trip:

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